How far should you go for the love of a man? Caitlin Gaynor tells her story. FEBRUARY 2010

Take a Chance on Love

BY CAITLIN GAYNOR
FEBRUARY 2010 

At one point or another you have to ask yourself how far will you go? How many chances will you hand away before you wave the white flag? It’s standard that it is three strikes and you’re out, but who really follows that anyway? How many times should I let a guy let me down before I write him off for good? In the back of my mind there is always the “what-if”.

After giving a recent love interest about 50 chances on and off throughout high school and college I finally crawled out from under my naive rock and realized that I deserve better. I let myself believe that this guy would change and would eventually show me that he really meant it when he said he had feelings for me. I sat there disappointed night after night when dates fell through, and when we actually did hang out it was at my house at 11 p.m.

I’ve seen the movie and read the book and I didn’t even get it. He was just not that into me. He didn’t truly care about me. He didn’t give me any sympathy when I was up to my ears in stress, or invite me out when I was sitting at home on a Friday night.

I consistently tried to make an effort to think of creative dates that he would enjoy. I even invited him on a road trip to watch the Reds. I got nothing.

Of course, now that I’ve found someone better, he is begging me to visit him. I considered it, but when I thought about it I got an uneasy feeling in my stomach. I need to respect myself. I need to wake up and realize that I deserve someone who will make sacrifices for me. I deserve to be with someone who wants to really be with me.

I met a recent guy who is from Louisville, but goes to school 2 hours away from me. After talking on the phone, texting and I-chatting everyday for two months, I was about to give up because nothing was progressing between us. I was starting to really fall for him. I asked him continuously to come visit me, nothing happened. Fall break was quickly approaching and I decided that weekend was the final chance I was going to give him to show me he really cared.

Oddly enough, that last chance was just what he needed to prove to me that he was worth the wait and a few chances. After that he visited me twice at school and things have really been working out between us. Turns out he was a chance that was definitely work taking.

I set a limit with him in order to be fair to myself. I didn’t want to continue to wait for someone and continue to be let down. It wasn’t fair for me to put my feelings out there and give someone chance after chance, only to be disappointed.

I tend to be a huge push-over and believe that people can change and guys will wake up and realize that they have a good thing going. The truth is if they really feel that way you won’t have to give them 50 chances. They will prove it to you in the first few.

Everyone makes mistakes, gets nervous and honestly a lot of guys don’t know how to handle themselves when they really like a girl. Everyone deserves a couple chances.

So how far should I go? How many do I give? The answer is not far. Don’t take another step in your single shoes. Baseball can teach us something, give him three chances and then he’s out. If he’s worth it he can prove it to you in the first few chances. If not, then check out the next hitter.