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| Power Style Wellness Connections |
Feelings
By Cheryl Ades
Feelings…songs and books are written about them, people call friends to talk about
them, and many go to great lengths to avoid them.
How emotionally intelligent are you? During the month that comes in like a lion and
goes out like a lamb, change your concept of feelings from foe to friend.
Body — Feelings are energy. Feeling energy that is not
expressed gets stuck in the body which often leads to
physical illness. Compare your body to a garbage can
stuffed to the brim without being appropriately emptied.
Notice the trash not only gets very smelly, but overflows
onto the floor, causing a bigger mess. Not certain what
emotion it is that you do feel, go to the body first. If your
body feels heavy and respiration and heart beat slow down,
you may be experiencing sadness. Clinched teeth and fists, along with a rigid stance,
increased pulse, and faster breathing may indicate anger or fear. A lightness and
general desire to have a skip in your step could indicate you are feeling happy or
joyful. After identifying what feeling you are experiencing, allow your body to express it
the way that fits YOU. Take a brisk walk, scream into a pillow, or hit a punching bag to
release anger. Hold your teddy bear with a cup of tea, watch a tear-jerker, or listen to
emotionally evocative music to help you cry, and weep away. Call a friend or pray to
express your fear. Dance when you are joyful.
Mind — Our comfort level with feelings stems back to the beliefs about emotions that
we learned in childhood. The five basic feelings are anger, sadness, fear, joy, and
shame. Often we learned that some feelings are more permissible than others to not
only share, but to feel. Did you learn that if women show anger, they are too assertive
or even called the “B” word? That boys are weak if they cry? Maybe you grew up in a
home where depression was rampant so you learned to squelch your joy and that it
wasn’t okay to be happy. Our feeling intelligence is as extensive as our upbringing
allowed, and usually we need to enroll in extra courses to bring it up to par with other
areas of our intelligence. Learn more about your feelings and what drives them
through therapy, journaling, or support groups and most important, allow yourself a
new belief that no feelings are off limits. It’s what we do with them that counts.
Spirit — In certain spiritual realms, feeling expression gets misinterpreted or merely
gets a bad rap. Sometimes, I got the message that if I just reached some spiritual
plateau, if I just got spiritual enough, I wouldn’t have feelings such as anger or fear.
That I should be able to rise above them. What if honoring and expressing feelings IS
the spiritual path? That, in moving into the gut-wrenching despair, paralyzing fear,
boundless joy, or anger that emotions offer, we move into a more intimate union with
the divine. After all, Jesus wept. He struggled in the garden of Gesthemane. Numerous
Buddhist books are written about moving feelings through the body rather than doing a
spiritual bypass and feeling from the neck up. It’s about allowing the expression of
feelings appropriately so we can move into a deeper place of peace, communion, and
trust.
You can reach Cheryl Ades at cherylades@iamtodayswoman.com
By Cheryl Ades
Feelings…songs and books are written about them, people call friends to talk about
them, and many go to great lengths to avoid them.
How emotionally intelligent are you? During the month that comes in like a lion and
goes out like a lamb, change your concept of feelings from foe to friend.
Body — Feelings are energy. Feeling energy that is not
expressed gets stuck in the body which often leads to
physical illness. Compare your body to a garbage can
stuffed to the brim without being appropriately emptied.
Notice the trash not only gets very smelly, but overflows
onto the floor, causing a bigger mess. Not certain what
emotion it is that you do feel, go to the body first. If your
body feels heavy and respiration and heart beat slow down,
you may be experiencing sadness. Clinched teeth and fists, along with a rigid stance,
increased pulse, and faster breathing may indicate anger or fear. A lightness and
general desire to have a skip in your step could indicate you are feeling happy or
joyful. After identifying what feeling you are experiencing, allow your body to express it
the way that fits YOU. Take a brisk walk, scream into a pillow, or hit a punching bag to
release anger. Hold your teddy bear with a cup of tea, watch a tear-jerker, or listen to
emotionally evocative music to help you cry, and weep away. Call a friend or pray to
express your fear. Dance when you are joyful.
Mind — Our comfort level with feelings stems back to the beliefs about emotions that
we learned in childhood. The five basic feelings are anger, sadness, fear, joy, and
shame. Often we learned that some feelings are more permissible than others to not
only share, but to feel. Did you learn that if women show anger, they are too assertive
or even called the “B” word? That boys are weak if they cry? Maybe you grew up in a
home where depression was rampant so you learned to squelch your joy and that it
wasn’t okay to be happy. Our feeling intelligence is as extensive as our upbringing
allowed, and usually we need to enroll in extra courses to bring it up to par with other
areas of our intelligence. Learn more about your feelings and what drives them
through therapy, journaling, or support groups and most important, allow yourself a
new belief that no feelings are off limits. It’s what we do with them that counts.
Spirit — In certain spiritual realms, feeling expression gets misinterpreted or merely
gets a bad rap. Sometimes, I got the message that if I just reached some spiritual
plateau, if I just got spiritual enough, I wouldn’t have feelings such as anger or fear.
That I should be able to rise above them. What if honoring and expressing feelings IS
the spiritual path? That, in moving into the gut-wrenching despair, paralyzing fear,
boundless joy, or anger that emotions offer, we move into a more intimate union with
the divine. After all, Jesus wept. He struggled in the garden of Gesthemane. Numerous
Buddhist books are written about moving feelings through the body rather than doing a
spiritual bypass and feeling from the neck up. It’s about allowing the expression of
feelings appropriately so we can move into a deeper place of peace, communion, and
trust.
You can reach Cheryl Ades at cherylades@iamtodayswoman.com
