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| Power Style Wellness Connections |
13 Principles She Lives By
It takes courage and daring, when life smacks us down as it so often does, to continue
to cope with what is left us. To move beyond divorce, death of a friend or family
member, financial disaster or natural disaster, is not always an easy decision.
Choosing widowhood at the age of 29 was not on Julie Raque’s life list. Nor did her
children, Patrick and Chelsea, choose to grow up without a father. But Life tricked her
and her children 13 years ago when her husband Larry was killed in an automobile
accident and, although she wasn’t sure she would survive, today Julie and her children
are thriving.
Along the way, Julie moved back to Louisville from Ohio, started two businesses, and
worked part-time. She recently wrote and published From Surviving to Thriving (young)
Widowhood with Kids. She coaches one-on-one and speaks to women’s groups about
building a quality life as a widowed or single parent.
“Many people tell me, after reading the book, that they Got It. They got how precious life
is, and they stop and take a hard look at how they are spending their time and what
they want to really do. It is important to me that people get the impact of losing a loved
one.
“We have survived and thrived far better than I would have expected. At first we couldn’t
think past bedtime. I couldn’t have gotten through it without my faith in God and prayer.”
Julie’s 13 Principles
1. Morning workout six times a week:
I spend 30-45 minutes walking/jogging, step aerobics or kickboxing. And three times a
week I work out with weights. I have run 5K and 10K races and the first two races of
the Triple Crown.
2. Eat right: I limit sugar and carbs which pretty much forces me to eat the good stuff.
My cheat food is pizza and beer. For breakfast I have coffee and cereal, lunch is a
frozen Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine, and dinner is chicken or fish and vegetables.
3. Live within or below my financial means: It’s called delayed
gratification. I hate credit card debt although I will take advantage
of a 12-months-same-as-cash offer. Usually I pay it off early. I read
Suze Orman, Jean Chatzky and Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.
4. At home when my kids get home from school: We do homework and have dinner and
down time. I was bound and determined to physically be there for the kids. I wasn’t
going to let the rat-race of a job keep me from being there. Quality parenting is very
important to me.
5. Daily walk and/or yoga in the afternoon: I have a pocket of time— 20 to 45 minutes
— between work and when the kids get home. After being in an office, it feels good to
breathe the outside air.
6. Coffee: Two cups of Folger’s at home in the morning. And I like the coffee at
Panera’s.
7. In bed by or before 10 p.m.: Sometimes I read — mostly I am ready to sleep.
I get up at 5:45 a.m.
8. Eat dinner as a family five to six times a week: My son loves to cook. His best
summer meal is smoked ribs, and I love his winter pot roast with vegetables.
9. Don’t overbook the family/ personal calendar: My son takes karate
twice a week, and my daughter, tennis one time a week. On Saturday
night the three of us go to dinner and a movie after church. We
volunteer as a family. We are not always running from one activity
to another.
10. Journaling:
I had not kept a journal before Larry died. I found if I got it out on paper or on cassette
tape I felt better. That’s how I wrote the book.
11. Strong faith; daily prayers: We go to church on the weekend and
I go to a Bible study group. Off and on I have kept a gratitude journal.
12. Stay organized: I spend a few minutes every day doing laundry,
picking up around the house, and staying organized. We all have KP duty so dirty
dishes don’t pile up. Everything has a home. If the clutter starts to build up I get itchy
and have an organizational attack.
13. Let the little things go: Today there is a little clutter starting to build up, and the kids
didn’t make their beds before we left the house. But that’s okay. I used to scold the kids
when they would help fold the towels but wouldn’t fold them the way I did. Now I know it
doesn’t make any difference. They are folded. They will still serve their purpose.
It takes courage and daring, when life smacks us down as it so often does, to continue
to cope with what is left us. To move beyond divorce, death of a friend or family
member, financial disaster or natural disaster, is not always an easy decision.
Choosing widowhood at the age of 29 was not on Julie Raque’s life list. Nor did her
children, Patrick and Chelsea, choose to grow up without a father. But Life tricked her
and her children 13 years ago when her husband Larry was killed in an automobile
accident and, although she wasn’t sure she would survive, today Julie and her children
are thriving.
Along the way, Julie moved back to Louisville from Ohio, started two businesses, and
worked part-time. She recently wrote and published From Surviving to Thriving (young)
Widowhood with Kids. She coaches one-on-one and speaks to women’s groups about
building a quality life as a widowed or single parent.
“Many people tell me, after reading the book, that they Got It. They got how precious life
is, and they stop and take a hard look at how they are spending their time and what
they want to really do. It is important to me that people get the impact of losing a loved
one.
“We have survived and thrived far better than I would have expected. At first we couldn’t
think past bedtime. I couldn’t have gotten through it without my faith in God and prayer.”
Julie’s 13 Principles
1. Morning workout six times a week:
I spend 30-45 minutes walking/jogging, step aerobics or kickboxing. And three times a
week I work out with weights. I have run 5K and 10K races and the first two races of
the Triple Crown.
2. Eat right: I limit sugar and carbs which pretty much forces me to eat the good stuff.
My cheat food is pizza and beer. For breakfast I have coffee and cereal, lunch is a
frozen Healthy Choice or Lean Cuisine, and dinner is chicken or fish and vegetables.
3. Live within or below my financial means: It’s called delayed
gratification. I hate credit card debt although I will take advantage
of a 12-months-same-as-cash offer. Usually I pay it off early. I read
Suze Orman, Jean Chatzky and Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.
4. At home when my kids get home from school: We do homework and have dinner and
down time. I was bound and determined to physically be there for the kids. I wasn’t
going to let the rat-race of a job keep me from being there. Quality parenting is very
important to me.
5. Daily walk and/or yoga in the afternoon: I have a pocket of time— 20 to 45 minutes
— between work and when the kids get home. After being in an office, it feels good to
breathe the outside air.
6. Coffee: Two cups of Folger’s at home in the morning. And I like the coffee at
Panera’s.
7. In bed by or before 10 p.m.: Sometimes I read — mostly I am ready to sleep.
I get up at 5:45 a.m.
8. Eat dinner as a family five to six times a week: My son loves to cook. His best
summer meal is smoked ribs, and I love his winter pot roast with vegetables.
9. Don’t overbook the family/ personal calendar: My son takes karate
twice a week, and my daughter, tennis one time a week. On Saturday
night the three of us go to dinner and a movie after church. We
volunteer as a family. We are not always running from one activity
to another.
10. Journaling:
I had not kept a journal before Larry died. I found if I got it out on paper or on cassette
tape I felt better. That’s how I wrote the book.
11. Strong faith; daily prayers: We go to church on the weekend and
I go to a Bible study group. Off and on I have kept a gratitude journal.
12. Stay organized: I spend a few minutes every day doing laundry,
picking up around the house, and staying organized. We all have KP duty so dirty
dishes don’t pile up. Everything has a home. If the clutter starts to build up I get itchy
and have an organizational attack.
13. Let the little things go: Today there is a little clutter starting to build up, and the kids
didn’t make their beds before we left the house. But that’s okay. I used to scold the kids
when they would help fold the towels but wouldn’t fold them the way I did. Now I know it
doesn’t make any difference. They are folded. They will still serve their purpose.
