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| Power Style Wellness Connections |
Feeling Overwhelmed?
By Bob Mueller
It seems like every day I hear someone say that she is
totally overwhelmed. So I began asking myself and others,
“How do you get over feeling overwhelmed?” To keep
from becoming overwhelmed, rosemary makes a list of
everything she needs to do so she can make a plan. For Tom,
it’s getting up from his desk to run five miles. For Denise, it is to
remind herself of her top three priorities in the day. How about you?
What has worked? Write yourself a reminder and put it on your computer screen or
car seat. Then, when you begin to swirl, the way out is right in front of you.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I make the mistake of comparing myself with
others. There is probably no other habit that chips away at our self-confidence so
effectively as the habit of scanning the people around us to see how we compare. It
is as if we have a radar dish on our foreheads, constantly searching to see if
someone else is quicker, tanner, or brighter. And when we find that at times someone
is, we are devastated and totally overwhelmed.
Thousands of years ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle suggested that each
human is bred with a unique set of potentials that yearn to be fulfilled as surely as
the acorn yearns to become the oak within it. I recently read about the life of Sidney
Poitier who said that he learned self-reliance from his parents who refused to be
defeated when there were obstacles and limitations in the way.
I would like to emphasize that we do not necessarily require a therapist to engage in
self-discovery and handle the feeling of being overwhelmed. Here are some simple
suggestions that keep me confident instead of being totally overwhelmed.
1) Keep a journal. For many years I have kept a daily journal of what I am doing, why
I am doing it, and what the results are. Just forcing it onto paper makes me ask,
“What is going on in my life?” When I look at my emotions and my life on paper, it is
easier to see my mistakes and the areas where I am deceiving myself. Remember,
though, techniques such as this do not work for everyone, and if, after experimenting
with a journal, it does not improve your awareness, simply scrap the idea.
2) Arrange to spend some time alone. We do our children a disservice if, when they
are complaining of being bored, we quickly find an interesting program on television
or drop what we are doing to entertain them. As a youth, I recall long, hot days,
mowing lawns. The only solution from boredom was to learn to daydream, and that is
where I first learned the power of spinning out detailed visions of what I wanted to be
and have and do.
3) Regularly redefine yourself. As long as we live, we will be in a state of flux. The
Tartar tribes of Central Asia had a curse they hurled against their enemies: “May you
stay in one place forever.” It is indeed a curse to remain the way we are forever. Life
is not so much a matter of “finding” ourselves as it is a process of making ourselves.
4) Look for someone in whom you can confide. One of the values of a confidant is
that he or she helps us avoid self-delusion, for as humans we have an infinite
capacity for self-deception. Having one other person who knows everything about us
is enormously helpful in being able to see ourselves realistically. Telling someone
everything can help us learn a great deal about ourselves.
I have enjoyed film clips of Julia Child. When things went wrong on her cooking show
(and they often did) she took it in stride. She didn’t fall apart and become totally
overwhelmed by the disaster. Pulling out a fallen soufflé in front of millions of viewers,
this master chef exclaimed, “You can’t win them all!” Where do you need to say this
in your life?
When confronted with a problem that seems to overwhelm you (family difficulties,
inner turmoil, job challenges) that is taking all your mental energy, ask yourself, “If I
didn’t have this problem, what would I be doing?” Then do that. That way you don’t
spend all of your time on the problem but get on with the rest of your life. Bob
Mueller is Vice President of Development, Hospice of Louisville, Southern Indiana
and Central Kentucky. He has three books: Look Forward Hopefully and The Gentle
Art of Caring, and his newest, Create a Better World. Bob can be emailed at
bobmueller@iamtodayswoman.com.
By Bob Mueller
It seems like every day I hear someone say that she is
totally overwhelmed. So I began asking myself and others,
“How do you get over feeling overwhelmed?” To keep
from becoming overwhelmed, rosemary makes a list of
everything she needs to do so she can make a plan. For Tom,
it’s getting up from his desk to run five miles. For Denise, it is to
remind herself of her top three priorities in the day. How about you?
What has worked? Write yourself a reminder and put it on your computer screen or
car seat. Then, when you begin to swirl, the way out is right in front of you.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because I make the mistake of comparing myself with
others. There is probably no other habit that chips away at our self-confidence so
effectively as the habit of scanning the people around us to see how we compare. It
is as if we have a radar dish on our foreheads, constantly searching to see if
someone else is quicker, tanner, or brighter. And when we find that at times someone
is, we are devastated and totally overwhelmed.
Thousands of years ago, the Greek philosopher Aristotle suggested that each
human is bred with a unique set of potentials that yearn to be fulfilled as surely as
the acorn yearns to become the oak within it. I recently read about the life of Sidney
Poitier who said that he learned self-reliance from his parents who refused to be
defeated when there were obstacles and limitations in the way.
I would like to emphasize that we do not necessarily require a therapist to engage in
self-discovery and handle the feeling of being overwhelmed. Here are some simple
suggestions that keep me confident instead of being totally overwhelmed.
1) Keep a journal. For many years I have kept a daily journal of what I am doing, why
I am doing it, and what the results are. Just forcing it onto paper makes me ask,
“What is going on in my life?” When I look at my emotions and my life on paper, it is
easier to see my mistakes and the areas where I am deceiving myself. Remember,
though, techniques such as this do not work for everyone, and if, after experimenting
with a journal, it does not improve your awareness, simply scrap the idea.
2) Arrange to spend some time alone. We do our children a disservice if, when they
are complaining of being bored, we quickly find an interesting program on television
or drop what we are doing to entertain them. As a youth, I recall long, hot days,
mowing lawns. The only solution from boredom was to learn to daydream, and that is
where I first learned the power of spinning out detailed visions of what I wanted to be
and have and do.
3) Regularly redefine yourself. As long as we live, we will be in a state of flux. The
Tartar tribes of Central Asia had a curse they hurled against their enemies: “May you
stay in one place forever.” It is indeed a curse to remain the way we are forever. Life
is not so much a matter of “finding” ourselves as it is a process of making ourselves.
4) Look for someone in whom you can confide. One of the values of a confidant is
that he or she helps us avoid self-delusion, for as humans we have an infinite
capacity for self-deception. Having one other person who knows everything about us
is enormously helpful in being able to see ourselves realistically. Telling someone
everything can help us learn a great deal about ourselves.
I have enjoyed film clips of Julia Child. When things went wrong on her cooking show
(and they often did) she took it in stride. She didn’t fall apart and become totally
overwhelmed by the disaster. Pulling out a fallen soufflé in front of millions of viewers,
this master chef exclaimed, “You can’t win them all!” Where do you need to say this
in your life?
When confronted with a problem that seems to overwhelm you (family difficulties,
inner turmoil, job challenges) that is taking all your mental energy, ask yourself, “If I
didn’t have this problem, what would I be doing?” Then do that. That way you don’t
spend all of your time on the problem but get on with the rest of your life. Bob
Mueller is Vice President of Development, Hospice of Louisville, Southern Indiana
and Central Kentucky. He has three books: Look Forward Hopefully and The Gentle
Art of Caring, and his newest, Create a Better World. Bob can be emailed at
bobmueller@iamtodayswoman.com.