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| Power Style Wellness Connections |
Baby Steps
By Cyndi Masters
Dear Cyndi,
I have been living in extreme pain for years and I feel
so hopeless. I have been reading your articles and
am trying to think more positively, but I never seem to
move far beyond this negative, desperate place. Do
you have any suggestions?
— Desperate in Prospect
Dear Desperate,
Chinese great Mao Tse-Tung said
“The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.”
The first step is, no matter how desperate it all feels, don’t give up!
Give yourself credit for baby steps. I don’t think it is humanly possible to go from living,
feeding, thinking, and breathing negative thoughts to being an eternal optimist.
Changing mental habits mandates the same thing that changing any other habit
requires — discipline and practice.
I have to remember to take life one day at a time. When I find that I have slipped into
self-pity or negative thinking (they tend to go hand-in-hand with me) I try to start my day
over. It is very important that I remember this is just one day and that doesn’t mean that
I am going to continue to live in this negative state. I try to remind myself that, even
when it feels very dark, I have tools to use and this is only one day, not my destiny.
I start from the outside. Throughout the day when I get overwhelmed, pain-filled and/or
agitated, I try to redirect my thoughts to something positive or turn my thoughts toward
someone else.
When I find myself having negative or critical thoughts toward others or anything outside
of myself, I try to reframe my thoughts with what is right about that person or situation.
Negativity breeds negativity. The good news is, so does being positive.
I don’t participate in gossip or other social conversation that tends to be critical and non-
productive. I have learned that I can’t be critical outwardly and not be critical and
negative inwardly.
A consistent bedtime and wake time are very important to me. Even if I can’t sleep, if I at
least rest the same hours every day, I tend to do better and my body gets conditioned
for rest and sleep. On those sleepless nights, I count what is right in my life rather than
sheep.
I try to keep my expectations as realistic as possible. It is not reasonable to expect
myself to do what I could do without the level of pain I work through every day. So I give
myself credit for the small things, beginning with getting out of bed. I make my bed
everyday so that, at the end of the day, no matter what, I will always have one small
accomplishment (not always so small when I am really hurting).
I make a list of things I am grateful for every night, as well as the positive actions and
events of the day. This helps me end my day on a positive footing, no matter what.
While life may feel desperate, there is always hope! Once I have some experience with
these actions working and have practiced enough for them to become habit, this all
becomes easier. I may still have negative thoughts, but the only ones I feed are the
positive ones.
After her accident, Cyndi Masters arrived at the hospital with collapsed lungs, crushed
ribs, her heart shifted to the left, the right side of her face ripped and serious spinal
cord and head injuries. Doctors weren’t sure she would survive, but Cyndi’s positive
outlook became her saving grace. If you would like to send Cyndi a question about
dealing with your chronic pain, send it to cyndimasters@iamtodayswoman.com.
By Cyndi Masters
Dear Cyndi,
I have been living in extreme pain for years and I feel
so hopeless. I have been reading your articles and
am trying to think more positively, but I never seem to
move far beyond this negative, desperate place. Do
you have any suggestions?
— Desperate in Prospect
Dear Desperate,
Chinese great Mao Tse-Tung said
“The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step.”
The first step is, no matter how desperate it all feels, don’t give up!
Give yourself credit for baby steps. I don’t think it is humanly possible to go from living,
feeding, thinking, and breathing negative thoughts to being an eternal optimist.
Changing mental habits mandates the same thing that changing any other habit
requires — discipline and practice.
I have to remember to take life one day at a time. When I find that I have slipped into
self-pity or negative thinking (they tend to go hand-in-hand with me) I try to start my day
over. It is very important that I remember this is just one day and that doesn’t mean that
I am going to continue to live in this negative state. I try to remind myself that, even
when it feels very dark, I have tools to use and this is only one day, not my destiny.
I start from the outside. Throughout the day when I get overwhelmed, pain-filled and/or
agitated, I try to redirect my thoughts to something positive or turn my thoughts toward
someone else.
When I find myself having negative or critical thoughts toward others or anything outside
of myself, I try to reframe my thoughts with what is right about that person or situation.
Negativity breeds negativity. The good news is, so does being positive.
I don’t participate in gossip or other social conversation that tends to be critical and non-
productive. I have learned that I can’t be critical outwardly and not be critical and
negative inwardly.
A consistent bedtime and wake time are very important to me. Even if I can’t sleep, if I at
least rest the same hours every day, I tend to do better and my body gets conditioned
for rest and sleep. On those sleepless nights, I count what is right in my life rather than
sheep.
I try to keep my expectations as realistic as possible. It is not reasonable to expect
myself to do what I could do without the level of pain I work through every day. So I give
myself credit for the small things, beginning with getting out of bed. I make my bed
everyday so that, at the end of the day, no matter what, I will always have one small
accomplishment (not always so small when I am really hurting).
I make a list of things I am grateful for every night, as well as the positive actions and
events of the day. This helps me end my day on a positive footing, no matter what.
While life may feel desperate, there is always hope! Once I have some experience with
these actions working and have practiced enough for them to become habit, this all
becomes easier. I may still have negative thoughts, but the only ones I feed are the
positive ones.
After her accident, Cyndi Masters arrived at the hospital with collapsed lungs, crushed
ribs, her heart shifted to the left, the right side of her face ripped and serious spinal
cord and head injuries. Doctors weren’t sure she would survive, but Cyndi’s positive
outlook became her saving grace. If you would like to send Cyndi a question about
dealing with your chronic pain, send it to cyndimasters@iamtodayswoman.com.
