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| Power Style Wellness Connections |
SUCCESS: Are You Being Unrealistic?
By Bob Mueller
Sometimes it is great for our souls to stop and examine our
motives. After all, why are we living? May people very
quickly measure life by four words: success, money, power,
and fame. Vince Lombardi, a truly great football coach,
said, “Winning isn’t everything; winning is the only thing.”
Along that same line, Leo Durocher, a famous baseball legend,
said, “Nice guys finish last.”
What are your motives? What are you really seeking in life? What makes you
successful?
My father’s life was the major influence on my idea of success. I grew up feeling that
my father was the greatest man in the world. Through all the years, I have never had
occasion to change that opinion. Yet according to the world’s idea of “making it,” my
father would not have been considered a huge success. He has never accumulated
great wealth. He lived in a modest home. Faith and family were much more important
to him than worldly success. He even steered away from situations that brought him
any fame or notoriety. He doesn’t care what others think of him; he has his values
and lives by them.
We need to remind ourselves that whatever we call success is really a pathway and
not a final destination. Success is never the goal in life, but the way to reach the goal
we have set for ourselves. Success is the opportunity to express our abilities fully,
and what is success for one person may not at all be success for another. We cannot
judge our personal success by other people’s lives and by what other people think.
There is a vast difference between success and self-destructive striving. Examine
your life and ask yourself questions such as this one: Do you always feel in a hurry?
There are a lot of people who feel they never have time for many of the things in life
they want. They are reluctant to go on a vacation, to take an afternoon off, or to play
a game of golf.
When you consider your motives and your expectations for success, remember these
10 wonderful facts:
It is unrealistic…
1)…to believe that everyone is going to agree with us all the time, like us all the time,
love us all the time. We should not expect it.
2)…to believe that we can be successful in every venture and that we can be perfect
in all we attempt to do or be. No one ever has been and no one ever will be.
3)…to believe that there is any job, almost any task, that doesn’t have its frustrations,
its discouragements, its disappointments. Some have more than others, but they are
always there.
4)…to believe there is any relationship at home, work, or play that doesn’t have some
tensions, some stress, and some differences. As long as we deal with people, we will
deal with problems.
5)…to believe there is any place, city, church, or
neighborhood that is ideal, is completely free from
problems, or does not need change or improvement.
There is no such thing as utopia.
6)…to believe that we will ever be completely free from feelings of guilt, doubt,
inadequacy, anxiety, or anger. They are part of being human. They need to be
understood and controlled, but they are always present.
7)…to feel that others should be blamed for all they say and do. All people have their
own problems and tensions. Most people want to do better. If we understood people’s
backgrounds, we would probably understand their behavior.
8)…to feel we are entirely victims of fate or outside circumstances and that we have
no control over what we think, feel, or do.
9)…to feel that we are the way we are; that we are conditioned by past experiences
or environmental circumstances and therefore cannot change.
10)…to feel that there is only one solution to any given situation or that things are
catastrophic if we do not find a solution.
Bob Mueller is vice president at Hospice Foundation of Louisville. Bob can be
emailed at bobmueller@iamtodayswoman.com. Bob has three books: Look Forward
Hopefully and The Gentle Art of Caring, and his newest, Create a Better World.
By Bob Mueller
Sometimes it is great for our souls to stop and examine our
motives. After all, why are we living? May people very
quickly measure life by four words: success, money, power,
and fame. Vince Lombardi, a truly great football coach,
said, “Winning isn’t everything; winning is the only thing.”
Along that same line, Leo Durocher, a famous baseball legend,
said, “Nice guys finish last.”
What are your motives? What are you really seeking in life? What makes you
successful?
My father’s life was the major influence on my idea of success. I grew up feeling that
my father was the greatest man in the world. Through all the years, I have never had
occasion to change that opinion. Yet according to the world’s idea of “making it,” my
father would not have been considered a huge success. He has never accumulated
great wealth. He lived in a modest home. Faith and family were much more important
to him than worldly success. He even steered away from situations that brought him
any fame or notoriety. He doesn’t care what others think of him; he has his values
and lives by them.
We need to remind ourselves that whatever we call success is really a pathway and
not a final destination. Success is never the goal in life, but the way to reach the goal
we have set for ourselves. Success is the opportunity to express our abilities fully,
and what is success for one person may not at all be success for another. We cannot
judge our personal success by other people’s lives and by what other people think.
There is a vast difference between success and self-destructive striving. Examine
your life and ask yourself questions such as this one: Do you always feel in a hurry?
There are a lot of people who feel they never have time for many of the things in life
they want. They are reluctant to go on a vacation, to take an afternoon off, or to play
a game of golf.
When you consider your motives and your expectations for success, remember these
10 wonderful facts:
It is unrealistic…
1)…to believe that everyone is going to agree with us all the time, like us all the time,
love us all the time. We should not expect it.
2)…to believe that we can be successful in every venture and that we can be perfect
in all we attempt to do or be. No one ever has been and no one ever will be.
3)…to believe that there is any job, almost any task, that doesn’t have its frustrations,
its discouragements, its disappointments. Some have more than others, but they are
always there.
4)…to believe there is any relationship at home, work, or play that doesn’t have some
tensions, some stress, and some differences. As long as we deal with people, we will
deal with problems.
5)…to believe there is any place, city, church, or
neighborhood that is ideal, is completely free from
problems, or does not need change or improvement.
There is no such thing as utopia.
6)…to believe that we will ever be completely free from feelings of guilt, doubt,
inadequacy, anxiety, or anger. They are part of being human. They need to be
understood and controlled, but they are always present.
7)…to feel that others should be blamed for all they say and do. All people have their
own problems and tensions. Most people want to do better. If we understood people’s
backgrounds, we would probably understand their behavior.
8)…to feel we are entirely victims of fate or outside circumstances and that we have
no control over what we think, feel, or do.
9)…to feel that we are the way we are; that we are conditioned by past experiences
or environmental circumstances and therefore cannot change.
10)…to feel that there is only one solution to any given situation or that things are
catastrophic if we do not find a solution.
Bob Mueller is vice president at Hospice Foundation of Louisville. Bob can be
emailed at bobmueller@iamtodayswoman.com. Bob has three books: Look Forward
Hopefully and The Gentle Art of Caring, and his newest, Create a Better World.