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Grief Took Over
By Cheryl Stuck
It was one of those days when
everything goes wrong. But for Kelly
Gibson, things went terribly wrong.
She was working at her restaurant,
dealing with staff issues that kept her
at work longer than usual, while two of
her four sons were helping their uncle
on the family farm. As kids will do, they
got into a scuffle over who would use
the water hose. During the wrestling
match, 13-year-old Jeremiah fell on
the gravel drive and didn’t get up.
When Kelly heard about the accident,
she raced home. Jeremiah was rushed
to the hospital in an ambulance. In the
meantime, police arrested her
15-year-old for assault and battery.
Within 24 hours, Jeremiah died and
Kelly’s oldest son was charged with
involuntary manslaughter. The court
released him on probation and
required the family to attend counseling for a year.
Grief took over Kelly’s life. She blamed herself for not being home at the time of the
accident. She no longer found joy in her restaurant, where Jeremiah and her other boys
had frequently helped out with chores like busing tables. It had been a happy
environment.
“As a punishment, you try to take things away from yourself,” she said. “It was a very
good business, but I didn’t want it. I didn’t want the house either, but the counselors said it
was best not to make financial decisions for at least a year.” Kelly took their advice, but
counted the days. When the year was up she closed the restaurant.
Unable to eat, Kelly lost weight. She went from 135 to 98 pounds. She couldn’t sleep, and
for two-and-a-half years, spent several hours a day at Jeremiah’s grave, taking flowers,
balloons, and books, and reading to him. At home, she took down photos of her other
three children and replaced them with photos of Jeremiah. She slept with Jeremiah’s
pillow and clothes.
Kelly tried to work at another restaurant, but it didn’t last long. One day, she walked out
on her shift. “I felt like a walking ball of anger. People were smiling and life went on for
them, but it didn’t for me and my family.”
While Kelly didn’t consciously contemplate suicide, she didn’t want to live. One day she
found herself driving toward a semi truck, not considering her other three children or the
truck driver. “I thought, ‘It’ll be quick’…I just wanted to let go and get to him.” But at the
last second, she pulled her car out of the way.
Kelly credits her husband and children with keeping her going. Her husband worked full
time as a supervisor at a construction company, but, “his main concern was keeping me
alive.” As for her children, “I don’t know how they made it through their teenage years
without a coherent parent.”
For four years, Kelly attended a Hospice grief counseling group twice a week and finally
began coming back to reality. She took a job at a doctor’s office. “At first, it was because I
wanted to learn what had happened to my son — why he died.” But instead, she fell in
love with helping other people and feeling needed, especially by the children who came
into the office and parents who had lost children. “I became like a coach… telling them,
‘Hey, I’ve been through that. You’re going to make it through it.’” Realizing she had a
passion for the medical field, in 2002 she enrolled in Ivy Tech Community College at the
age of 40.
Kelly’s angel arrived in the form of her first grandchild, a little girl. “We were blessed with
her at a time that was just so horrible.” Shortly after the baby’s birth, Kelly’s husband had
a heart attack and two years later was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney cancer and later
had his kidney removed.
But Kelly stayed the course, working full-time for the doctors, and going to school four
nights a week. She graduated in June 2006, as a medical assistant, with an applied
science degree, a technical certificate in phlebotomy, and certification in insurance
coding.
Now, she enjoys teaching several classes at Ivy Tech. But more importantly, Kelly has
finally released her guilt. Her husband is healthy and her children are doing well. With a
new career and now three precious grandchildren, she said, “Look what I would have
missed if I had let go.”
If you know a woman who has had a life-changing experience, please email:
cherylstuck@iamtodayswoman.com.
By Cheryl Stuck
It was one of those days when
everything goes wrong. But for Kelly
Gibson, things went terribly wrong.
She was working at her restaurant,
dealing with staff issues that kept her
at work longer than usual, while two of
her four sons were helping their uncle
on the family farm. As kids will do, they
got into a scuffle over who would use
the water hose. During the wrestling
match, 13-year-old Jeremiah fell on
the gravel drive and didn’t get up.
When Kelly heard about the accident,
she raced home. Jeremiah was rushed
to the hospital in an ambulance. In the
meantime, police arrested her
15-year-old for assault and battery.
Within 24 hours, Jeremiah died and
Kelly’s oldest son was charged with
involuntary manslaughter. The court
released him on probation and
required the family to attend counseling for a year.
Grief took over Kelly’s life. She blamed herself for not being home at the time of the
accident. She no longer found joy in her restaurant, where Jeremiah and her other boys
had frequently helped out with chores like busing tables. It had been a happy
environment.
“As a punishment, you try to take things away from yourself,” she said. “It was a very
good business, but I didn’t want it. I didn’t want the house either, but the counselors said it
was best not to make financial decisions for at least a year.” Kelly took their advice, but
counted the days. When the year was up she closed the restaurant.
Unable to eat, Kelly lost weight. She went from 135 to 98 pounds. She couldn’t sleep, and
for two-and-a-half years, spent several hours a day at Jeremiah’s grave, taking flowers,
balloons, and books, and reading to him. At home, she took down photos of her other
three children and replaced them with photos of Jeremiah. She slept with Jeremiah’s
pillow and clothes.
Kelly tried to work at another restaurant, but it didn’t last long. One day, she walked out
on her shift. “I felt like a walking ball of anger. People were smiling and life went on for
them, but it didn’t for me and my family.”
While Kelly didn’t consciously contemplate suicide, she didn’t want to live. One day she
found herself driving toward a semi truck, not considering her other three children or the
truck driver. “I thought, ‘It’ll be quick’…I just wanted to let go and get to him.” But at the
last second, she pulled her car out of the way.
Kelly credits her husband and children with keeping her going. Her husband worked full
time as a supervisor at a construction company, but, “his main concern was keeping me
alive.” As for her children, “I don’t know how they made it through their teenage years
without a coherent parent.”
For four years, Kelly attended a Hospice grief counseling group twice a week and finally
began coming back to reality. She took a job at a doctor’s office. “At first, it was because I
wanted to learn what had happened to my son — why he died.” But instead, she fell in
love with helping other people and feeling needed, especially by the children who came
into the office and parents who had lost children. “I became like a coach… telling them,
‘Hey, I’ve been through that. You’re going to make it through it.’” Realizing she had a
passion for the medical field, in 2002 she enrolled in Ivy Tech Community College at the
age of 40.
Kelly’s angel arrived in the form of her first grandchild, a little girl. “We were blessed with
her at a time that was just so horrible.” Shortly after the baby’s birth, Kelly’s husband had
a heart attack and two years later was diagnosed with stage 3 kidney cancer and later
had his kidney removed.
But Kelly stayed the course, working full-time for the doctors, and going to school four
nights a week. She graduated in June 2006, as a medical assistant, with an applied
science degree, a technical certificate in phlebotomy, and certification in insurance
coding.
Now, she enjoys teaching several classes at Ivy Tech. But more importantly, Kelly has
finally released her guilt. Her husband is healthy and her children are doing well. With a
new career and now three precious grandchildren, she said, “Look what I would have
missed if I had let go.”
If you know a woman who has had a life-changing experience, please email:
cherylstuck@iamtodayswoman.com.
