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| Power Style Wellness Connections |
An International Journey
By Cheryl Stuck
Lauren Mattingly believes in a divine plan. Her strong
faith helped her through a series of disappointments
and heartache.
Lauren fell in love with Rob Mattingly at age 16. In
college, the couple began strategically mapping out
their lives together, even choosing names for their
future children: Emily for a girl and Ryan Denton for a
boy.
They married after beginning their careers; Lauren
as a physical therapist and Rob as an attorney. After
two years Lauren began trying to get pregnant. It didn’t
happen for almost a year, and to her dismay, five weeks later, she miscarried. An
infertility specialist conducted genetic and blood tests but found nothing wrong,
so they kept trying. Eventually, although there were no symptoms, the doctor
found severe endometriosis, a possible cause of the problem. One month after
surgery, Lauren’s hopes soared when she conceived. But after eight weeks, she
miscarried again. “It was horrible — a much harder thing to go through and more
painful than the first time, because I had more hope,” Lauren said. Despite the
miscarriage, she was optimistic and continued on medication and hormones. She
gave up her position as a director of a physical therapy clinic, and to reduce
stress, began working part-time.
Another year passed, so Lauren tried assisted fertilization. When that was
unsuccessful, and she felt she had exhausted all her options for a viable
pregnancy, the couple investigated adoption. “It’s really funny,” Lauren said,
“Years ago, when we first started talking about a family, Rob said he would
someday like to adopt.” So, they spoke to others who had adopted children
including Lauren’s cousin, who had adopted two children from Russia. Ultimately
Lauren and Rob chose the international agency she recommended.
“The problem with adopting locally is that the (biological) parents know who you
are and have the right to a relationship with the child,” Lauren said. “There’s
always a chance, however slim, that they will change their mind through the
process and we didn’t want to deal with that. I want to know that the child is mine
and that no one can take it away.”
In November 2006, Lauren called the Small World Adoption Foundation, based in
St. Louis, and began the process for international adoption. “They told us it would
take up to 12 months for a referral,” Lauren said. Over the next couple of months,
a social worker visited the Mattingly’s home to make sure it was suitable for
raising a child and interviewed both of them separately as well as together. They
each had to write an autobiography and answer pages of questions. All was
completed by January.
To her surprise, less than a month had passed when Lauren got a call at work
telling her a little boy was waiting. “I just started crying in the middle of the gym.”
She rushed back and forth to Frankfort to certify masses of paperwork prior to
the trip to see 10-month-old, Mischa. In April, the Russian government approved
their visit.
After flying for 22 hours to Stavropol, a translator asked them if they were ready
to meet their two-and-a-half-year-old little boy, Anton. “I said, ‘No, we’re supposed
to meet Mischa, who is 10 months old.” After more communication with attorneys,
Lauren and Rob learned that each child has to be available to Russian families
for at least 10 months before being adopted internationally and since he was two
months old when arriving at the orphanage, they would have to return in June.
But in order to continue the process, they had to meet Anton and say yes or no to
adopting him. “We talked and prayed about it, and decided to stick to the original
plan of adopting the younger child.” So, they drove three hours back to the
orphanage, where they met an “adorable little boy who was just trying to please
us, drawing pictures and wanting to play…it was so hard. Then they took him out
of the room and asked us for our decision. I basically fell apart. I couldn’t say no.
But Rob was strong and held to the decision to say no.”
They visited Mischa and agreed to return in June. The couple was winding down
in their hotel room when the translator called with another option — a 14-month-
old little boy named Dmitry in a different orphanage. “We walked in and this little
boy was bright-eyed, and laughing, and he just stole our hearts right there.” They
immediately knew this was their child. They visited him a few more times and had
the opportunity to videotape his first time crawling.
“Friends have commented about how much he looks like Rob,” Lauren said. “Our
philosophy through all of this was that God has a plan. That’s what got us
through. After all the obstacles, we had to accept that it is not necessarily on our
timetable. We were supposed to have a child, and he just happened to be born in
Russia.”
On October 2, Lauren and Rob were finally allowed to bring their 19-month-old
child home to Louisville. His new name: Ryan Denton Mattingly. “Everything went
great. When we got him home, it was like he had always belonged here. He
seemed at peace.”
If you know a woman who has had a life-changing experience, please email:
cherylstuck@iamtodayswoman.com.
By Cheryl Stuck
Lauren Mattingly believes in a divine plan. Her strong
faith helped her through a series of disappointments
and heartache.
Lauren fell in love with Rob Mattingly at age 16. In
college, the couple began strategically mapping out
their lives together, even choosing names for their
future children: Emily for a girl and Ryan Denton for a
boy.
They married after beginning their careers; Lauren
as a physical therapist and Rob as an attorney. After
two years Lauren began trying to get pregnant. It didn’t
happen for almost a year, and to her dismay, five weeks later, she miscarried. An
infertility specialist conducted genetic and blood tests but found nothing wrong,
so they kept trying. Eventually, although there were no symptoms, the doctor
found severe endometriosis, a possible cause of the problem. One month after
surgery, Lauren’s hopes soared when she conceived. But after eight weeks, she
miscarried again. “It was horrible — a much harder thing to go through and more
painful than the first time, because I had more hope,” Lauren said. Despite the
miscarriage, she was optimistic and continued on medication and hormones. She
gave up her position as a director of a physical therapy clinic, and to reduce
stress, began working part-time.
Another year passed, so Lauren tried assisted fertilization. When that was
unsuccessful, and she felt she had exhausted all her options for a viable
pregnancy, the couple investigated adoption. “It’s really funny,” Lauren said,
“Years ago, when we first started talking about a family, Rob said he would
someday like to adopt.” So, they spoke to others who had adopted children
including Lauren’s cousin, who had adopted two children from Russia. Ultimately
Lauren and Rob chose the international agency she recommended.
“The problem with adopting locally is that the (biological) parents know who you
are and have the right to a relationship with the child,” Lauren said. “There’s
always a chance, however slim, that they will change their mind through the
process and we didn’t want to deal with that. I want to know that the child is mine
and that no one can take it away.”
In November 2006, Lauren called the Small World Adoption Foundation, based in
St. Louis, and began the process for international adoption. “They told us it would
take up to 12 months for a referral,” Lauren said. Over the next couple of months,
a social worker visited the Mattingly’s home to make sure it was suitable for
raising a child and interviewed both of them separately as well as together. They
each had to write an autobiography and answer pages of questions. All was
completed by January.
To her surprise, less than a month had passed when Lauren got a call at work
telling her a little boy was waiting. “I just started crying in the middle of the gym.”
She rushed back and forth to Frankfort to certify masses of paperwork prior to
the trip to see 10-month-old, Mischa. In April, the Russian government approved
their visit.
After flying for 22 hours to Stavropol, a translator asked them if they were ready
to meet their two-and-a-half-year-old little boy, Anton. “I said, ‘No, we’re supposed
to meet Mischa, who is 10 months old.” After more communication with attorneys,
Lauren and Rob learned that each child has to be available to Russian families
for at least 10 months before being adopted internationally and since he was two
months old when arriving at the orphanage, they would have to return in June.
But in order to continue the process, they had to meet Anton and say yes or no to
adopting him. “We talked and prayed about it, and decided to stick to the original
plan of adopting the younger child.” So, they drove three hours back to the
orphanage, where they met an “adorable little boy who was just trying to please
us, drawing pictures and wanting to play…it was so hard. Then they took him out
of the room and asked us for our decision. I basically fell apart. I couldn’t say no.
But Rob was strong and held to the decision to say no.”
They visited Mischa and agreed to return in June. The couple was winding down
in their hotel room when the translator called with another option — a 14-month-
old little boy named Dmitry in a different orphanage. “We walked in and this little
boy was bright-eyed, and laughing, and he just stole our hearts right there.” They
immediately knew this was their child. They visited him a few more times and had
the opportunity to videotape his first time crawling.
“Friends have commented about how much he looks like Rob,” Lauren said. “Our
philosophy through all of this was that God has a plan. That’s what got us
through. After all the obstacles, we had to accept that it is not necessarily on our
timetable. We were supposed to have a child, and he just happened to be born in
Russia.”
On October 2, Lauren and Rob were finally allowed to bring their 19-month-old
child home to Louisville. His new name: Ryan Denton Mattingly. “Everything went
great. When we got him home, it was like he had always belonged here. He
seemed at peace.”
If you know a woman who has had a life-changing experience, please email:
cherylstuck@iamtodayswoman.com.
