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Today's Wellness What a Pain
Take Little Actions to Move Forward
By Cyndi Masters
I have a lump in my breast, but I am afraid to go to the
doctor. I am afraid to go and not have anything wrong,
and I am afraid to go and have her find something wrong.
I really don’t want to waste the doctor’s time.The greatest
thing that has come from all of my medical debacles is the
gift of knowing that there is no tragedy without a gift, no
circumstance too difficult to provide a lesson and positive
impact. Because my medical difficulties were so extreme,
there was no question about going to my doctor appointments, and no question if I was
wasting their time and that I was worth the investment.
The truth is, because my situation had been so dire and my healing seemed to be at
such an accelerated rate, most of the doctors were quite interested. I am sure the fact
that I continued to be positive in light of overwhelming circumstances didn’t hurt my
welcome either. The bottom line is that through a very difficult circumstance, I learned a
most valuable lesson — I was worth taking care of as much as anyone else.
By showing up on time, going to my doctor appointments, and following their instructions,
I learned that I was enough and that my life was worth their time. I learned that I cannot
“think” my way into “feeling” better about myself. It is the little actions that I take every day
that allow me to feel worth it.
Self-esteem follows actions that bear esteem. I can’t wait to take care of myself by going
to doctor appointments until I feel worthy or feel like I know I am sick enough. I have to
show up even when I am afraid my circumstance doesn’t warrant it, like when I think that I
have gotten better and don’t really need that follow up. By acting in a way that
demonstrates both self-care and self-value, I began to have true self-esteem.
Acting my way into right thinking and feeling has permeated all aspects of my life. The
foundation for this came from showing up for appointments with my doctors, having a
good attitude — often being more optimistic than the doctors themselves. The mantra I
mention often here is “the dog that wins is the one you feed.” What I found is that by
remaining positive even when we were looking at less than optimal circumstances, my
doctors followed along. By doing my part and showing up, but letting the diagnosis and
results be defined by the doctors, I was able to remain positive rather than come from a
place of fear and negativity, which chip at my self-esteem and tell me I don’t belong at the
appointment in the first place.
I always try to remember the names of the office staff, and even though I am afraid that
something may be wrong with me, I reach out to them and ask about their day, take the
time to smile, remember that they have families and all the stresses of life in addition to
dealing with people like me all day long. Generally, they remember my name and smile
back, which helps me feel more deserving of being there in the first place when I am not
sure that anything is definitively wrong. They also tend to take my phone calls and
encourage me to come in when I call.
The amazing thing is that this same lesson has been lived out in my business where
every day I face a world that is primarily dominated by men. The principles of self-esteem
and being enough that I learned in the doctors’ offices have applied here as well. By
suiting up and showing up trying to look for what I can bring, regardless of the
circumstance, I find myself belonging in a world where I have felt like a foreigner most of
my life.
Tips for taking care of yourself:
• Do monthly self-breast exams.
• Get an annual mammogram and/or exam.
• If you are worried about a medical issue, pursue it with a doctor rather than wait and
worry (which only creates its own problem and exacerbates whatever is going on).
• Walk or do some other type of aerobic exercise at least three times weekly. If you aren’t
doing any right now, just do 10 minutes and work your way up. (After I am in the habit, it
is easier to find the time and energy.)
• Attend all follow-up doctor appointments.
Incapacitated from a serious accident, Cyndi Masters couldn’t work for many months and
eventually had to sign up for food stamps and disability. Cyndi says she had to condition
herself to recognize that her self-esteem didn’t come from material things. Instead of
focusing on herself, she used her experience to help others in need.
If you would like to send Cyndi a question about dealing with your chronic pain, send it to
cyndimasters@iamtodayswoman.com.
Take Little Actions to Move Forward
By Cyndi Masters
I have a lump in my breast, but I am afraid to go to the
doctor. I am afraid to go and not have anything wrong,
and I am afraid to go and have her find something wrong.
I really don’t want to waste the doctor’s time.The greatest
thing that has come from all of my medical debacles is the
gift of knowing that there is no tragedy without a gift, no
circumstance too difficult to provide a lesson and positive
impact. Because my medical difficulties were so extreme,
there was no question about going to my doctor appointments, and no question if I was
wasting their time and that I was worth the investment.
The truth is, because my situation had been so dire and my healing seemed to be at
such an accelerated rate, most of the doctors were quite interested. I am sure the fact
that I continued to be positive in light of overwhelming circumstances didn’t hurt my
welcome either. The bottom line is that through a very difficult circumstance, I learned a
most valuable lesson — I was worth taking care of as much as anyone else.
By showing up on time, going to my doctor appointments, and following their instructions,
I learned that I was enough and that my life was worth their time. I learned that I cannot
“think” my way into “feeling” better about myself. It is the little actions that I take every day
that allow me to feel worth it.
Self-esteem follows actions that bear esteem. I can’t wait to take care of myself by going
to doctor appointments until I feel worthy or feel like I know I am sick enough. I have to
show up even when I am afraid my circumstance doesn’t warrant it, like when I think that I
have gotten better and don’t really need that follow up. By acting in a way that
demonstrates both self-care and self-value, I began to have true self-esteem.
Acting my way into right thinking and feeling has permeated all aspects of my life. The
foundation for this came from showing up for appointments with my doctors, having a
good attitude — often being more optimistic than the doctors themselves. The mantra I
mention often here is “the dog that wins is the one you feed.” What I found is that by
remaining positive even when we were looking at less than optimal circumstances, my
doctors followed along. By doing my part and showing up, but letting the diagnosis and
results be defined by the doctors, I was able to remain positive rather than come from a
place of fear and negativity, which chip at my self-esteem and tell me I don’t belong at the
appointment in the first place.
I always try to remember the names of the office staff, and even though I am afraid that
something may be wrong with me, I reach out to them and ask about their day, take the
time to smile, remember that they have families and all the stresses of life in addition to
dealing with people like me all day long. Generally, they remember my name and smile
back, which helps me feel more deserving of being there in the first place when I am not
sure that anything is definitively wrong. They also tend to take my phone calls and
encourage me to come in when I call.
The amazing thing is that this same lesson has been lived out in my business where
every day I face a world that is primarily dominated by men. The principles of self-esteem
and being enough that I learned in the doctors’ offices have applied here as well. By
suiting up and showing up trying to look for what I can bring, regardless of the
circumstance, I find myself belonging in a world where I have felt like a foreigner most of
my life.
Tips for taking care of yourself:
• Do monthly self-breast exams.
• Get an annual mammogram and/or exam.
• If you are worried about a medical issue, pursue it with a doctor rather than wait and
worry (which only creates its own problem and exacerbates whatever is going on).
• Walk or do some other type of aerobic exercise at least three times weekly. If you aren’t
doing any right now, just do 10 minutes and work your way up. (After I am in the habit, it
is easier to find the time and energy.)
• Attend all follow-up doctor appointments.
Incapacitated from a serious accident, Cyndi Masters couldn’t work for many months and
eventually had to sign up for food stamps and disability. Cyndi says she had to condition
herself to recognize that her self-esteem didn’t come from material things. Instead of
focusing on herself, she used her experience to help others in need.
If you would like to send Cyndi a question about dealing with your chronic pain, send it to
cyndimasters@iamtodayswoman.com.
