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Reinventing Herself
By Eliane Rooker Jack
Christina Dimari loves stories. She likes to read
about other people’s experiences and learn from
them. So when she decided to write a book about
struggles to overcome events from her childhood,
she didn’t want to write a “how to” book. “I can’t
stand being told what to do,” says Christina. “I’m not
a ‘gimme a plan’ person. Tell me the story and let
me come in and experience it.”
In reading Christina’s book, Ocean Star, the reader
experiences her memories of cringing with her
siblings in an upstairs bathroom while their father
rampaged downstairs. Although she seemed singled
out for her mother’s wrath, all the children suffered
from both the rage and indifference of their parents.
Her older siblings escaped through education.
Christina found solace through surfing, skiing, and
drugs.
But to view it as an “abuse book” is to miss the point, Christina says. The book’s power
is in her journey of trust and faith as she conquered drug abuse, came to terms with lies
and betrayals from her family, and ultimately confronted family secrets long buried.
“Your past is not your destiny unless you leave your Self behind,” Christina says.
Reinventing herself and her life were only possible through her faith, with the help of her
friends, and through relationships with important people — she calls them ‘pearls’ — she
has met along the way. “I’m still on a journey. I’m not quite where I want to be, but I
embrace that and keep going.”
Christina has confronted past demons all her adult life, and when she set out to write
her book, she found there was one more she needed to tackle: growing up with an
emotionally absent mother. She walked into a local bookstore, seeking a book about
another woman who’d made a similar journey. She didn’t find the book she sought, but
she finally settled on Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman.
“It was one story after another of a mother who died, abusive mothers, both physically
and emotionally, and mothers who couldn’t connect with their daughters,” she
remembers. It was the right book at the right time, but it made her want more. “On the
cover was a girl crying. I wanted her to get up. I wanted to say, ‘Come on girls, we can
do better than this.’ You can make it without a Mom, but it’s hard work.”
Christina is on a mission to reach out to other young girls who have obstacles from
childhood to overcome. She conducts workshops on beaches from Maine to Florida and
all along the California coast. “It’s in their power to shape their destinies,” she says of
the participants. “There’s so much potential in each person. There will be obstacles in
life, and people who want to crush you, but if you look up long enough you can get to
the promised land. God has a special plan for each person, and when we tap the true
essence of who we are, that’s when we shine and become a light to other people.”
Raised in California, Christina feels a special pull to the ocean, and her dream is to have
a home on the water from which she can do her workshops. But her heart is here in
Kentucky, and she tries to limit her workshop schedule to one week out of each month,
so she can spend the rest of her time with her husband and two high school sons.
Considering her background, was she worried about what kind of mother she would be?
“I love being a Mom,” she replies. “It’s a gift and definitely something I wanted to be. I’ve
tried to remember, as they got older, what I needed at that age, and what I didn’t need.”
Christina learned from watching other mothers and other families, and she was
determined to be “the complete opposite” of her own mother. She gives her husband,
Michael Davis, concertmaster of the Louisville Orchestra, a lot of credit. “Creating the
family I wanted was only do-able with my amazing husband,” she says. But mothering
has brought back pain for Christina. “I totally missed something. But I’m not one to
wallow in the past. I’m not afraid to visit it. But I look long enough to learn from it and
then move past it.”
“For 25 years I’ve been in mentoring work,” says Christina. “I’ve gotten to share and
relate and that’s been healing for me. And I wanted my siblings to experience that, too. It’
s like we were all in a boat that exploded at sea and we had to swim to shore. We all
made it out, but in different ways. The book has really brought us together.” Her siblings
have been able to come with her on her workshops at various times.
The response to the book has been tremendous. Within one month of publication,
Christina had received a flood of email from all around the world, surprising her in
quantity. She was also surprised to receive mail from as many men as women. “I thought
when I finished the book, I was done,” Christina says with a laugh. But radio and print
publicity has generated interest in the book, and the book has fueled interest in her
workshops. “I’ve been surprised at the wide range of people responding and
connecting” to the book, Christina says.
One email in particular, the first one, touched Christina’s heart. It was from a young girl
in Kentucky. “She bought Ocean Star at the same bookstore where I had been four
years ago, looking for the same book I had been looking for then, saying almost word for
word what I had said. She couldn’t find what she was looking for either. Then she saw
my book. She read it in one day and emailed me to say thanks. Then I knew that the
book was going to serve its purpose.”“Some call them starfish, but they’re really ocean
stars on a journey to learn how to turn back into a star, shining for others the way they
were meant to. If you ever find an ocean star, be kind and gentle. It’s trying to find its
way home.”For more information about Christina DiMari’s workshops as well as her line
of greeting cards and gifts, visit www.christinadimari.com. Christina is working on another
book that will be called Pearl Girls, featuring girls/women 14-40 who have read Ocean
Star and were impacted in some way. Christina is conducting an Ocean Star Workshop
on October 21 in Louisville. Go to www.oceanstardream.com and click on workshops.
By Eliane Rooker Jack
Christina Dimari loves stories. She likes to read
about other people’s experiences and learn from
them. So when she decided to write a book about
struggles to overcome events from her childhood,
she didn’t want to write a “how to” book. “I can’t
stand being told what to do,” says Christina. “I’m not
a ‘gimme a plan’ person. Tell me the story and let
me come in and experience it.”
In reading Christina’s book, Ocean Star, the reader
experiences her memories of cringing with her
siblings in an upstairs bathroom while their father
rampaged downstairs. Although she seemed singled
out for her mother’s wrath, all the children suffered
from both the rage and indifference of their parents.
Her older siblings escaped through education.
Christina found solace through surfing, skiing, and
drugs.
But to view it as an “abuse book” is to miss the point, Christina says. The book’s power
is in her journey of trust and faith as she conquered drug abuse, came to terms with lies
and betrayals from her family, and ultimately confronted family secrets long buried.
“Your past is not your destiny unless you leave your Self behind,” Christina says.
Reinventing herself and her life were only possible through her faith, with the help of her
friends, and through relationships with important people — she calls them ‘pearls’ — she
has met along the way. “I’m still on a journey. I’m not quite where I want to be, but I
embrace that and keep going.”
Christina has confronted past demons all her adult life, and when she set out to write
her book, she found there was one more she needed to tackle: growing up with an
emotionally absent mother. She walked into a local bookstore, seeking a book about
another woman who’d made a similar journey. She didn’t find the book she sought, but
she finally settled on Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss by Hope Edelman.
“It was one story after another of a mother who died, abusive mothers, both physically
and emotionally, and mothers who couldn’t connect with their daughters,” she
remembers. It was the right book at the right time, but it made her want more. “On the
cover was a girl crying. I wanted her to get up. I wanted to say, ‘Come on girls, we can
do better than this.’ You can make it without a Mom, but it’s hard work.”
Christina is on a mission to reach out to other young girls who have obstacles from
childhood to overcome. She conducts workshops on beaches from Maine to Florida and
all along the California coast. “It’s in their power to shape their destinies,” she says of
the participants. “There’s so much potential in each person. There will be obstacles in
life, and people who want to crush you, but if you look up long enough you can get to
the promised land. God has a special plan for each person, and when we tap the true
essence of who we are, that’s when we shine and become a light to other people.”
Raised in California, Christina feels a special pull to the ocean, and her dream is to have
a home on the water from which she can do her workshops. But her heart is here in
Kentucky, and she tries to limit her workshop schedule to one week out of each month,
so she can spend the rest of her time with her husband and two high school sons.
Considering her background, was she worried about what kind of mother she would be?
“I love being a Mom,” she replies. “It’s a gift and definitely something I wanted to be. I’ve
tried to remember, as they got older, what I needed at that age, and what I didn’t need.”
Christina learned from watching other mothers and other families, and she was
determined to be “the complete opposite” of her own mother. She gives her husband,
Michael Davis, concertmaster of the Louisville Orchestra, a lot of credit. “Creating the
family I wanted was only do-able with my amazing husband,” she says. But mothering
has brought back pain for Christina. “I totally missed something. But I’m not one to
wallow in the past. I’m not afraid to visit it. But I look long enough to learn from it and
then move past it.”
“For 25 years I’ve been in mentoring work,” says Christina. “I’ve gotten to share and
relate and that’s been healing for me. And I wanted my siblings to experience that, too. It’
s like we were all in a boat that exploded at sea and we had to swim to shore. We all
made it out, but in different ways. The book has really brought us together.” Her siblings
have been able to come with her on her workshops at various times.
The response to the book has been tremendous. Within one month of publication,
Christina had received a flood of email from all around the world, surprising her in
quantity. She was also surprised to receive mail from as many men as women. “I thought
when I finished the book, I was done,” Christina says with a laugh. But radio and print
publicity has generated interest in the book, and the book has fueled interest in her
workshops. “I’ve been surprised at the wide range of people responding and
connecting” to the book, Christina says.
One email in particular, the first one, touched Christina’s heart. It was from a young girl
in Kentucky. “She bought Ocean Star at the same bookstore where I had been four
years ago, looking for the same book I had been looking for then, saying almost word for
word what I had said. She couldn’t find what she was looking for either. Then she saw
my book. She read it in one day and emailed me to say thanks. Then I knew that the
book was going to serve its purpose.”“Some call them starfish, but they’re really ocean
stars on a journey to learn how to turn back into a star, shining for others the way they
were meant to. If you ever find an ocean star, be kind and gentle. It’s trying to find its
way home.”For more information about Christina DiMari’s workshops as well as her line
of greeting cards and gifts, visit www.christinadimari.com. Christina is working on another
book that will be called Pearl Girls, featuring girls/women 14-40 who have read Ocean
Star and were impacted in some way. Christina is conducting an Ocean Star Workshop
on October 21 in Louisville. Go to www.oceanstardream.com and click on workshops.
